One of the best experiences I've ever had. I came...

One of the best experiences I've ever had. I came here as an inspector from the Illuminati, and the service was excellent. Ms. Haspel, the director of the CIA was keen to provide with a very nice living quarters. The staff were so nice that they created a wormhole for me to pass through so I didn't have to walk through the long hallways. The administration was even kind enough to let me test some of their new technology, such as a graviton device that could create deep sinkholes (sorry Mexico) and let me test out their tsunami devices, which may have resulted in the deaths of a few thousand in Indonesia. Unfortunately, I accidentally messed up an experiment, which resulted in hot, dry, conditions in California, which started some massive wildfires there, such as the Carr Fire (229,000 acres), or the Mendocino Complex, (459,000 acres). The food is also excellent: Caviar from Iran (sturgeons aren't actually endangered, we Illuminati members keep the best caviar for ourselves, delicious Foie gras, imported shark fin soup, and a rare breed of cow not available in normal markets. All in all, HAARP gave me a very good experience, will definitely return. (lol im joking)