Came here on a pleasant Alaskan morning not knowin...

Came here on a pleasant Alaskan morning not knowing what to expect. But I got to say, WOW I was utterly impressed. The service was remarkable and I felt like they were always there to help me, like ALWAYS. They were always around the corner ready to answer my HAARP related questions. Me and my wife decided to opt in another $375 for an electromagnetic sauna.. and I got to say I felt like a Cheeto. It was amazing.

-My wife says my scrodum has shrunk since we visited this HAARP facility, however I think she is just insecure because her eyebrows are shedding.