An opening disclaimer for this review: I never wr...

An opening disclaimer for this review: I never write reviews for products and services. I read them all the time, naturally; I have to in order to help separate the BS from the truth. Rarely, however, do I ever take the time (or finish if I choose to start) to write a review for the benefit of others. Hell, this may not even really be for anybody's benefit...this may just be an outlet for me to gush while I stare at inadequate hotel listings in a less world-renowned region.

Here's the meat of the story. In 2012, I booked a special promotion, directly via the hotel, for a two-nights-for-one price on one of their suites. Though the circumstances (and name/ownership) may have changed since my stay nearly three years ago, I have never (and may never again) stayed at a better hotel, despite my best efforts stateside and abroad.

The suites here sport unparallelled sophistication, with room designs that scream luxury while never crossing the line into frivolity. The concept of having a dedicated assistant separated from the primary duties of the front desk is put to excellent use here, and further magnifies the exemplary level of round-the-clock service already evidenced in a top-notch room service menu (at an incredibly reasonable price, to my surprise), the provision and replenishment of room amenities, and friendly/helpful attitudes of every employee I encountered. I am not nor did I ever look the part of wealthy businessman or royalty, but over the course of my stay here I always FELT like one. It looked and felt like I was 100% provided for, like there was no request I could have that would go unfulfilled. This hotel single-handedly instilled in me a craving for and discerning attitude towards quality that has yet to be completely satisfied by any hotel since.

Perhaps when you're dropping as much dough as you drop at a place like this, everything I've said simply goes without saying, and the opinions of one as pedestrian as I bear less gravity than a feather floating in the exosphere. Furthermore, I'm sure that with even more money, I would've found some place even more breathtaking. Nevertheless, as I sit here at this moment searching somewhat frustratedly for passably similar four/five-star locations in the smaller city of Baltimore (which includes a Four Seasons that was MORE expensive and LESS amazing during my last stay), I can't help but think back to my amazing time at the Setai and wonder when I'll be in the position to come back.