Wow. I haven't been to Chessington in years. And o...

Wow. I haven't been to Chessington in years. And on the strength of my poor visit today, with my son, it will be years until I go back.

I don't really know where to start. Unlike the lines for the rides, I'll try to keep it short.

The queue for Vampire said 70mins. However, we entered the line at 12:01 and actually got on the ride at 14:04! The ride itself was decent but,, nothing special in relation to other marquee rides at theme parks. The queue area was unimpressive and boring until the hall where you get on(see pic). A few skulls, some grass and two screens randomly showing fireman Sam ... Odd. After this insane wait, we couldn't actually get on too many more rides as each was roughly 60mins.

The tiger enclosure was tiny with the animal walking up and down over and over again.

The wait time for all of the decent rides were huge. Even when the line itself wasn't that long. (See pic). It seemed more like bad design than the park being super busy.

The food cost was laughably high.

Two locker locations were out of order and staff weren't in the loop as to which lockers were available. Twice I went to ask staff for working lockers and twice I was sent to ones that weren't working.

The height requirements were odd. Vampire had a much lower minimum than some slower rides.

The staff in general didn't seem to be that switched on or bothered about being there. A lot of youngsters, which is good, but they seemed like they would rather be elsewhere. There was one guy that was sweeping, however, who was super helpful. He insisted on walking us to our ride instead of just pointing and going about his day.

There aren't actually many good rides. There's no getting around that. And scorpion(plus another ride) was closed. As we're some of the restaurants.

The park lacked a vibe, looked tired and needs money spent.

It make be slightly unfair for me to compare it to Disneyworld/Universal/Busch Gardens or Euro Disney. But, if I can't compare it to other theme parks, what can I compare it too? Its not cheap, the wait times are similar, if not worse than most big theme parks elsewhere and in terms of feel, it's light years behind. I'd put Alton Towers and Thorpe Park in front of this now.

If you've not been to a BIG theme park, you're a season pass holder, you're staying in the hotel or you have young kids, your experience may be better. But, for me, I couldn't wait to get out. And even my son wasnt bothered about any of the rides.

I keep thinking about other things that were bad, but like the queue for Vampire, this review is much longer than expected. And I can't be bothered. I hope other have a better time.