I booked 5 star hotels and find even the most basi...

I booked 5 star hotels and find even the most basic things not in place. Poorly spoken English (I recognize where I am, but again, this is part of why I'm paying 5 star rates), arguments for trying to connect a 3rd computer to my wifi, a pool that doesn't receive afternoon sunlight, dinner in what feels like a cafeteria, and a "spa" without a gym?!