4 years ago
About a week before Christmas we were given the ne...
About a week before Christmas we were given the news that there was nothing else that could be done for my mother, who had been battling cancer. Her doctor was having hospice call us the next day to set everything up for us to keep my mother comfortable. After almost a week of no phone call, I called her oncologist and asked if we were supposed to call them, and she said no they should have called by now. She put in to have them call us AGAIN and when they finally did, they wanted to come on Christmas Day. We didn t want to ruin my mom s last Christmas so we asked for them to come the day after. They were extremely rude about that request. The nurse was a very nice person, but was NOT A HOSPICE NURSE. Why was my mother s case given to the VNA if they did not have a hospice nurse available? We were supposed to have her come on Mondays and Wednesday s, but the schedule had been changed to Tuesday s, and Thursday s without telling us. So on a Monday we were waiting and had no one show up. My mother had gotten really bad on that Monday, and as a family who did not know how to take care of someone who was dying we really could have used the support, and assurance that we were doing everything we could. We were not shown how to administer any medication until we asked to be shown. Eventually we were given an aid to come 3 times a week. She was an absolute sweetheart, and it s a shame that she works for such a horrible company. I had called my mother s doctor to switch services, and they had called the vna to find out what was going on, and they basically told them I was a liar. I was told the director would be calling me, but to no surprise I never received a phone call. We had asked for multiple medical supplies that we never received ( glycerin swabs, bedside commode, diapers) and many other things that we had to ask multiple times for before they were even ordered. With a huge lack of resources I felt like I was just winging it.
My mother passed away on a Sunday. The last time we saw the nurse was on Thursday. She told us try and have a good weekend . She knew my mother was not going to make it until her next visit on Tuesday.
We really could have used more support, care, and guidance throughout this whole experience. The VNA has absolutely NO BUSINESS calling themselves hospice. I expected way more, and my family is traumatized after the suffering that my poor mother had gone through. We were doing everything we could do to keep her comfortable, but we didn t know what we were doing.
Don t let someone you love, and that you are losing go through something like this. It is unforgivable, barbaric, and horrible. Our mother deserved better. We deserved better. Everyone deserves better.