3 years ago
It is never an easy decision for a parent to place...
It is never an easy decision for a parent to place their child into a residential placement. We adopted him when he was 5 years old and did everything possible, along with multiple agencies and services to help support him. After all the attempts, there were not any other options at that point. We found him a placement and was told that he would be coming home each weekend, after the first weekend, we had a conversation with the counselor about our concerns about weekend visits and was told that his behaviors were our fault! We continued to try weekends till we had the police at the house, at that point, he was taken back to the house. The counselor called us the next day telling us we had to come back and pick him up. When we said no, she threatened to call CPS on us but he was already 18. After that, we had a very heated Zoom meeting involving Villa of Hope staff, OMH, DSS, and the school. The issue was that there were not any rules or routines at the group home, he was up all night, not showering or brushing his teeth and using their internet inappropriately. We were told multiple times that the hot spot was turned off during non-school work hours but that was a lie, as we were getting phone calls from the school principal at 9 at night, that our son was using his school Chromebook inappropriately. It took them over two and a half months before we ever had a family counseling session or a family advocate. The house was not and still not working on any interpersonal skills or supporting our family. They kept informing our son that he just needed to sign off that they would not have to tell us anything that was going on. We continued to fight for our son, as staff would not respond to emails or our concerns. When school started in September, it got even worse! He was failing all his classes and was being suspended due to unsafe behaviors due to the group home not supporting school. We set up another meeting with the house staff and some higher ups in the agency. The day of the meeting, they coerced him into signing the paper so that they would not have to deal with us. I am still not sure how they got a child, who isn t functioning at an 18-year-old level, to sign off on something so important or talking to him about the ramifications of doing such a thing. They fed him the ideas that he was 18 and could do whatever he wanted to do. All the things that we were told they would work on with him, has never happened. There isn t any more family counseling, they are driving a wedge between our son and our family. They are talking bad about us; they tell him they do not want him speaking to us or visiting with us. The agency is upset because we have been advocating for our son and causing them issues, due to them not doing their jobs or giving our son the support to become a part of society. The agency is failing our son and our family. When we did voice concerns, higher ups in the agency said that was a voluntary program and we could pull him out, instead of doing their jobs! Besides my own son, I am concerned about all the other children in their care. They are teaching them how to live off the system and teaching them any life skills that they should be, how to get along with others, hygiene, money management skills, job training, or housing. It is also disgusting that the OMH is not doing anything either to support these kids, they just turned a blind eye as well. Our son is a lot worse now since he was placed in this group home. I also hear horror stories, that if they have not found a placement for them by the age of nineteen, they dump them off at the homeless shelter in Rochester. The sad part is that he will be in their care about a year but the amount of damage they have caused and the family issues, will take years to fix and rebuild the family connection with our son! Please, I beg you, please do not ever use this agency for your child or do not donate to them!! Both the Villa of Hope and OMH is failing our kids!