Theirs was the only meal I had yesterday and resul...

Theirs was the only meal I had yesterday and resulted in many, many gallons of hershey squirts. Thank God the mud didn't start flowing until my plane landed. The noxiousness of my butt-water coupled with the fact that it was 9/11 would have forced an emergency landing. As I tried to maintain consciousness in spite of the epic odor and excruciating intestine contortions I contemplated how it was possible that my body contained that much water. I dared not light a match for fear of turning my lovely home into a smoking crater requiring remediation by a brownfield speciality company.

Eat here and you too can paint porcelain masterpieces.