I do not go to Bloomingdale's because I'm enthrall...

I do not go to Bloomingdale's because I'm enthralled. I go because I am dragged along by my mother every now and then. Here's what it's like for the guy in the husband chair for 70 minutes, whose been waiting for someone who promised to be done 50 minutes ago.
-They have a free coffee bar on the first floor.
-You will awkwardly wander around the cologne section until you get bored
-You will wander in the Louis Vuitton pavilion and walk out confused
-You will find solace walking into the appliance section on the bottom floor
-You will feel a sense of shame as you walk to the bathroom on the 3rd floor. For some reason, they decided to put the washroom in the langerie section
-You will spend the last few minutes in purgatory, wondering if you will ever escape
-When you are finally free, you eyes will swell with tears. You've been given a second chance. Embrace life