IAsylumRocksI

Review of Eden Project

First of all, please don't mind my spelling mistak...

First of all, please don't mind my spelling mistakes since the author is German.

When you name a project 'EDEN' you have quite a name to live up to. 'Eden Project' does absolutely not. The first thing I want to talk about is how the project titles itself as some kind of 'Nature's last sanctuary' to show its supposed bond to nature. The first thing that took my attention when I entered the facility was a yellow bag hanging on a tree with a big 'WASP BAG' writing on it. While I first thought it was some kind of feeding-station for wasps since they accidently help the spreading of 'Eden Projects' sacred flowers via pollination, I was taught better when I spotted tens of drowned insects at the bottom of the bag. Luring insects with a sweet smelling fluid, these bags function as death traps for whatever kind of insect unfortunate enough to come too close to it. Not only dozens of wasps were floating on the fluid's surface but also flies and HONEYBEES. And while one (not me) might have understanding for these things being placed near picknick tables where the insects may annoy some oversensitive tourists, it's even more disappointing to see them located at completely random places such as the garden shed and a hiking path near the entrance. I don't remember God placing such death traps into his garden. Sadly ironic how 'Nature's last sanctuary' sorts out the parts of nature that might decimate the income. I consider that as hypocrisy and blasphemy at its finest (and I'm not even a religious type). The biggest joy I felt when walking along the incredibly unspectacular facility was watching angry tourists cutting holes into these yellow pieces of s**t. And I don't even want to mention the 'Advanced Slug Killers' they sell in their ridiculosuly overpriced Gift Shop.
Now that I wrote down my initial rant, let me tell you about the theme park's 'attractions'. First of all, half of these are about DINOSAURS for the simple reason that these giants are pretty much the only thing that children never really lose interest in, which obviously leads to more families visiting the park and -oh, surprise- more income. (As if the ridicolous ticket prices weren't enough..) That these creatures are extinct for about 65 million years now and have nothing to do with today's nature (that the project should be about) seems not to bother anyone since the moving T-Rex model (which can be found in about 200 theme parks / museums elsewhere) is nice to look at.
The 'Biomes', which (mostly) aren't related to dinosaurs, are basically big greenhouses with a number of randomly picked plants inside of it. The tropical biome's biggest attraction is the humidity they added to the air, leading to the near-collaps of two elderly people of my travelling group. The mentioned plants are more for the eye than for scientific lecture. They are tagged with a tiny plate in front of them, which only inform the reader about the plant's name (English only). 'Oh look, a cocoa bush...let's move along.' As dull as visiting that biome sounds, Eden Project found a great solution for that: Let's put a guy in a (guess what) dinosaur costume and let him run around the greenhouse. While older people just asked themselves what a dinosaur was doing in there, smaller children were literally terrified - not realising it was just a guy in a costume. I've never seen so many children running away with tears in their eyes. Oh, and then there's the little stand where you can buy overpriced baobab-fruit smoothies that made an elderly man visit the doctor after our trip.
The other attractions are a statue made out of scrap metal and trash (Wow, so deep.) and a mediterranean biome which was just like the tropical one (just without the humidity and with other extremely unspectacular plants).
Before this evaluation reaches book-length I'd like to shortly summarize:
- ridiculously overrated, overprized (charity..yeah sure..), hypocritical and especially:
- a place I will never visit again.