I would have liked to paint a far rosier picture o...

I would have liked to paint a far rosier picture of the resort, but sadly, I cannot. I recently had to travel to the resort for a residency, and "upgraded" my room to a "FallsView" king. First, to call these rooms a suite, is misleading. I have stayed at other resorts, aside from the Hilton brand, which possessed far more amenities in the rooms. A cheap hotel coffee pot and a minibar does not a resort make. Second, the "Falls" were right out my door, the entrance door, which I found rather odd. It was less than impressive considering the so-called upgrade. Small as it was, at least water was falling, until the second day there, that is. It is man-made and someone turned it off, for the rest of my stay. I can hear them now, saying that the pool, on the other side is called the Falls pool, and thus, the Falls view. However, had I known this beforehand, I would not have pad extra to stay next to the largest pool, rife with screaming kids at 11 PM. Disclosure may be prudent to potential guests.
The "restaurants" -- I find myself using quotes a great deal -- were laughable. Of course, it's a resort, so you are 5 miles away from civilization (it might as well be 100 miles in the summer heat), so without a car, one is left to dine on property. How convenient for them, and frankly, it explains why they don't even try.
The Cafe, which wasn't even open most of the time, with a note to ring the desk for service, closed at 5 PM anyway. The only other option was the Point in Tyme, for lunch anyway. The "lunch buffet", again, the only option, consisted of a (yes "a") single pasta offering, and some salad. That's it. Each day we ate there, it was a single (albeit different from the previous day) pasta, but the same basic salad accouterments.
I opted to use my phone as a key, but thankfully also obtained regular keys, as my phone key changed on the second to last day and stopped working.
Because I chose the more expensive, "Falls" room, I was cast to the farthest reaches of the resort (something else I was unaware would happen). Of course, there was a shortcut through the main pool area right next to my building (8), which would have saved immeasurable time, had the gate not been locked all day and all night.
That far-flung room, also had no parking; literally three spaces, all parallel to the building.
The gym was nice, albeit on the opposite top corner of the resort.
I am also one of those evil cigar smokers. I know, "boo", "hiss". At other resorts and hotels, there is a spot to sit outside, with a drink from the bar and enjoy a much earned respite. Not here. I was actually told I could walk out to the street if I wanted to. Seriously?
The friendliest people were at the coffee shop in the main lobby -- and I don't think they work for the hotel.