Abesolutely. A field guide to Abe Tawil.

Abesolutely is a personal website functioning as a tongue-in-cheek naturalist's field guide profiling Abe Tawil. Compiled in 2026, it presents the first edition of an ongoing record built around thirty-three photographs documenting roughly forty years of the subject's life. The guide is organized into thematic sections covering his background, family, adventures, personal records, and a quiz, using a wildlife field guide format to catalog his habits, vehicles, and identifying features.

The guide emphasizes a factual method where nothing was asked of the subject and every claim is supported by a photograph. It was compiled from firsthand observation and photographic record, with the subject not knowing the guide exists. The method measures, labels, and does not wink, treating the subject seriously by documenting specific details like his resting posture of hat, cigar, and minimal clothing.

The guide is located in Toledo, Ohio, and extends to wherever the Jeep will go. It documents the subject's range from a lawn in Ohio to a stony shoreline several hundred miles away and against a green brick wall. The recorded time for the Savage 5K is 27:59, and the subject achieved a first-place win at the Tender Takedown on 20 September 2025.

The subject is identifiable by his medium build, full beard, glasses, and permanently mid-sentence demeanor. He is most reliably located near a griddle, a start line, or a vehicle that is louder than it needs to be. His vehicle is a Jeep Gladiator Rubicon, and he wears high-visibility orange plumage during race mornings only.

The subject has a wife and two daughters, making four people in total. These family members are cited as the reason most of the rest of the guide is possible. The guide includes photographs of them at home, dressed for the evening in green, and dressed up with one of his daughters.

The subject's habits include feeding competitively and domestically, recorded together. He won the FriendShip Famous Chicken Tender Takedown on 20 September 2025, earning first place, one thousand dollars, and a gold chicken. Away from competition, he uses a flat-top griddle on the back deck for similar behavior at lower intensity.

The guide is set in Archivo and Vollkorn typefaces. It uses six flat inks on warm paper with no shadows anywhere, because printed matter does not cast them. This design choice reflects the guide's commitment to a clear, factual presentation method.

The subject is described as thriving and is entering year 40. The guide documents a pattern of behavior rather than a coincidence, noting that the ship in one photograph is not his. The subject's status is recorded as thriving while maintaining a consistent pattern of behavior.

The guide states that the handle came first, with Alpha, Bravo, Echo, Tango spelling A-B-E-T over a radio. His name is already catalogued and sitting inside a system built for being understood clearly at a distance. Everything in the guide follows from that initial handle.

The guide includes a plate entry for an adult male in full plumage, noting the shirt is not ironic. Another plate shows an alarm display observed at close range with no apparent trigger. A third plate shows the subject in the workshop with protective eyewear correctly worn.

The guide records a third instance of a specific behavior, describing it as a pattern, not a coincidence. It also notes that the ship in one instance is not his. The guide avoids winking and treats the subject seriously by measuring and labeling these details.

The guide includes a plate showing the subject at rest with hat, cigar, flag trousers, and no shirt. The posture is described as fully committed. Another plate shows the same behavior at a different shoreline, reinforcing the pattern.

The official website of Abesolutely. A field guide to Abe Tawil. is abesolutely.com.

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