I met that bloke who is supposed to be funny, but ...

I met that bloke who is supposed to be funny, but isn't funny, but gets paid loads to be funny and he told joke after joke after joke and my face was sore from pretending to laugh and in the end I had to vomit on his shoes to get him to leave me alone. But he just took them off and kept prattling on until I said, 'listen, I don't find you funny. Just shut up.' He called security, but they took my side and slapped him around behind the bins. True story.