There are things that St. Louis does really, reall...

There are things that St. Louis does really, really well. Things like BBQ, riverboats, arches, and insufferable baseball fans. Something St. Louis does not do well apparently is pizza.

This was the worst "pizza" I have ever had. We ordered the "cheese" pizza and the deluxe with a side of "cheese" balls. The "cheese' is actually called provel, I assume it's called provel because rejected government cheese spread didn't test well with the public. Wikipedia says"it is a combination of cheddar, Swiss, and provolone cheeses, and tastes nothing like any of them." I can verify this is correct.

The sauce looked like ketchup mixed with mayo but had none of the flavor. The crust was a thin crisp waiver and perhaps the best part of this unholy creation. We spent the next several hours after eating this debating if it'd be better just to get sick right way or wait for it to happen naturally.