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Review of Clarion Royal Christiania Hote...

I wish I could give more than two stars, but the s...

I wish I could give more than two stars, but the shortcomings of this hotel are quite serious and outweigh the pluses.

Nonetheless, I will start with the pluses.
PLUSES
The staff are fantastic. Really top class. They are helpful and warm, have impeccable manners, and are genuinely engaged in what you need. They seem also to feel hamstrung by the problems that I will get to in a moment--problems, I might add that are clearly a result of poor management at the top level.
The breakfast is fantastic as well. The eggs are cooked perfectly, the spread is luxurious and fresh. You feel like Saudi royalty at breakfast.

MINUSES
1. Lifts
The hotel has installed lifts that rely on a touch screen that requires a key scan followed by a selection of a floor. It then tells you which of the five lifts to take. This, however, becomes complicated by the fact that the screens are of poor quality and do not always register your finger. In attempting to return from my floor to the lobby, I spent countless times pushing at the screen before it registered. And I am someone who is a "digital native". Baby boomers will really struggle with this lift system. Once you are in the lift, there are no floor buttons. So if you miss your floor--something easy to do--due to lack of clear signage as to what floor you are on, you will be trapped for a good while.

2. Rooms in shoddy condition
The room I was assigned to (760) was extremely hot, and the climate control did not work. The overhead bathroom lights did not work, and neither did the fridge. In fact, the fridge seemed to be overheating, causing the room to become even hotter.

3. IT system not working
In the morning I asked them to resolve these issues, and the receptionist painstakingly entered them into the computer and told me they would either resolve them or would assign me a new room. Upon returning, no record of them could be found. Yet another example of a poor IT system.

4. PA system randomly turns on at night, waking you up
I was assigned a new room that was much better (750), but at around 11.30 PM, the public address system came on in my room at an extremely loud volume yelling something in Norwegian. It startled the living daylights out of me. On that note, what hotel has speakers attached to a PA in every room??

5. Hotel is a dark maze
The hotel is labyrinthine and dark--the corridors are separated via heavy fire doors, and it is easy to get lost.

6. No phone in room
Given all these issues, I wanted to call reception. This was not possible because the rooms are "21st century" and have no phones. Instead, one is supposed to use a mobile to call a Norwegian number in order to access reception. So while they have invested in a Rube-Goldberg-touchscreen lift system that doesn't work, the rooms do not even have phones. Incredibly frustrating.