This may have been the most memorably bad dining e...

This may have been the most memorably bad dining experience I've had in my adult life. Almost 5 hours to complete a decently executed but rather unimaginative and bland tasting menu. Waited almost 2 hours for the first appetizer which was a few small pieces of watermelon (with pits) mixed with a few tomato slices and no sauce or dressing I could taste. To be fair we were give a small shot of a watery truffle...soup was it?.....to hold us over during that 2 hour period while we ordered bottle after bottle of wine for our group to keep us from going nuts. When the first appetizer came it was 1 (as in ONE) scallop of medium size served on a plate over a tiny drizzle of I'm not sure what because it had minimal flavor. Then about an hour late came a very small.....picture 2 corks tied together sized piece of slightly overcooked and just dry enough to have missed it's mark fish balanced architecturally on a perch of I forget what. I was so ravenous at this 3 hour marked that I snarfed it down to fight off hypoglycemia without much consideration of what it tasted like. Then came the duck. One hour later. 3 coin sized slices of it. Actually quite good (if a bit cold but really.....who's going to send anything back at this point and risk getting shot by someone else at our table for holding things up). A decent sized plate of the this duck served warmer than room temperature might have made for a satisfying if somewhat uninspired entree at a good bistro. A small tasting at this point was more of a tease to emphasize the "yup....that's all you're gonna get" point that had already been firmly established as the evening's theme. Finally .....4.5 hours and 6 bottles of wine into things comes a small piece of too sweet, Splenda flavored chocolate cake that as hungry as I was I simply could not eat. Arrived at 6:30......left at 11:20 and went back to my room to eat some Kind bars I had lying around. Those were very good by the way.