Will never go back. Wherever do I start?

Will never go back. Wherever do I start?
1. The valet parking staff sternly warned us that we were not to leave a car for more than 10 minutes in front of the hotel while we checked in or we'd be charged the valet parking fee - which is somewhere between $22 and $35 depending on what kind of deal you get. Mind you, there's no temporary parking area to leave your car other than the valet.

2. The room we were given had a bed that was so old the impressions of a thousand guests before me were obvious. The bathroom had black mold in the tile grout. There were plastic wrappings around the smoke alarm and the sprinkler system. (I'll post the pictures if I'm allowed here...)

3. We were assigned another room. Asked a staffer with a badge and a radio which way to go to find it, and he said, "I really don't know," and walked away. (Apparently staff was told: "Beatings will continue until morale improves.")

4. Second room key didn't work. Sat in the hall with our luggage while my spouse went downstairs to inquire at the main desk. By the way, there are no chairs in the hall or by the elevator. Good thing I'm not an old lady or handicapped.

5. Was given a THIRD room, which looked okay, and indeed had a comfy bed and reasonable bathroom. Only problem was that the desk chair was ripped, big time. Nobody noticed this before? I have pix of this too!

6. Spouse was given a restaurant credit for our many troubles, which we appreciated. However, when we went to use this credit, we were told that the restaurant was closed. This was 6 p.m on a Sunday night, and it's kinda standard to eat dinner 'bout this time. Was there another place where we could get dinner, we asked? Nope. That restaurant was closed too. Only option was to eat dinner in the bar during a large pool party. Lots of people stared at us while we ate at our tiny round table. Upside was that the food we did get was absolutely delicious and the staff was nice. Kudos to the chef.

7. Parking for this hotel, if you don't do the very expensive valet, is around the back in an open lot, about a block away from the entrance. That means you should probably leave your luggage with the valet (oh look, a tip!) if you don't want to schlep your bags quite a distance. The entrance to the parking does NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SHERATON, so you must be psychic to figure out if this is the assigned parking area which we'd already paid for. There is a parking structure across the street from the hotel but this is NOT where you should go.

I'm not usually a big complainer, but there were so many fails at this place that I felt I must WARN YOU TO RUN, don't walk, to another place.