If you're seeking the highest concentration of sad...

If you're seeking the highest concentration of sadness and despair in Los Angeles, look no further than Caltech! You may be drawn in by the claims of vibrant student life and the stock pictures of smiling students, but don't be deceived. Administration regularly conducts crackdowns on the Hovses, ensuring that any possible source of joy is snuffed out as quickly as possible. The only reason students persist in their labors is the promise of a strong career after graduation, but this is also a lie! It is the carrot dangled in front of them to persuade them to keep the Machine churning along! We must rise up against our oppressors! So I say to my fellow students: it is time to throw off our shackles and overthrow the system! Join me in glorious revolution!