I return to The Standard every couple of years bec...

I return to The Standard every couple of years because this is how long it takes to forget that it's actually bad bad bad. And then you get lured back in. It's massively overpriced for what it offers. The rooms are tiny even for NYC (and last time I stayed in their super deluxe king shoebox where you still couldn't have a shower without getting the carpet in the hallway all wet). The staff are handsome and courteous, but refuse to respond to my emails about incorrect charges on the folio. Some find The Standard's dark elevators all creepy too. I also can't help but notice the very cheap touches I wouldn't expect from a classy place: a big sticker on the umbrella reminding you not to steal it or you'll be charged $25, beer vouchers for their beer garden. I like hotels that can decide at which end of the spectrum they fall: you either quietly charge $25 for the wifi or you warn guests not to steal your $25 umbrellas.

Admittedly, the bathtubs are great and the location is excellent.