MrGingerwindgod

Review of KidZania London

Kidzania just sent me an e-mail and thanking us fo...

Kidzania just sent me an e-mail and thanking us for our visit and asking if we had a 'Zuper' time. This is what I said:

Actually we didn't have a 'Zuper' time. We had rather a rubbish time I'm afraid. We bought our tickets online and then had to queue for 20 minutes to get tickets - we should have been told. When we got in, we were given a two minute speech (which I presume was scripted it was delivered with so little genuine enthusiasm) which involved the kids being told that they should do window cleaning as that paid most and that if they earned loads of money they could go and get cool gifts at the department store. We were left with the impression that spending money on activities was bad but that earning was good - which kind of made sense in a capitalist society. Having not been before the kids were understandably keen to earn money in order to get the 'cool' gifts. The queues for the activities they had been encouraged to 'plan' for on the website before we arrived were horrendous so they stuck to the shorter queues. They earned the maximum possible money by cleaning windows (twice) and changing beds at the hotel (twice) - really aspirational stuff. My daughter and her friend did the Metro activity which they queued for 15 minutes for. They were sent off to cover a story at the theatre. When they arrived there they were made to wait for 15 minutes because the staff were busy putting on a show. The pen didn't work, more time lost. When they got back to the Metro they were told they had 2 minutes to write the story and their time was up. So they queued for an activity that was queuing. When they did the fruit bar activity they were told what they should do - wash hands, taste ingredients etc but didn't actually get to do those things as they were being rushed through the activity to keep the queues short. Those were the two most exciting things they did.

When we got to the gift shop they were excited to at least get the gifts they had earned. After queueing for 15 minutes (again) they were gutted to find their hard earned cash could buy them a variety of cheap plastic tat which must cost around 10p each when bought in bulk. Coconut beaded bracelets and necklaces, a plastic RULER, a mask or a tiara - C'mon! No wonder 'grown ups' aren't allowed in - then they would see for themselves what a rip off it all is. How much does a Simon Says cost - please tell me? I'm guessing 64,0000 kidzos? So maybe if they cleaned windows for 4 hours every day for a year or so they might be half way there?

I noticed that the photographers who were pestering them to 'smile' when they finally got into an activity were absent at the 'department store' to capture the tear stained faces of disappointed kids because believe me there were more than a few. The pathetic attempts of parents to try to explain to kids that now they understood that they had to earn money in order to afford nice things fell very flat - even the parents saying the words didn't look convinced.

Here is what my kids learnt from you Kidzania:
1. What a long queue is like and how boring it is being in one
2. How to be pushy/border line aggressive because that is what they had to be to keep their place in the queue thanks to other ill mannered kids and their parents
3. That anyone working at Kidzania would rather be anywhere else but they do manage very wide fake smiles which are so forced it hurts to look at them
4. That window cleaning pays more than being a pilot, a dentist, a healthcare worker, a fire fighter
5. That they would have been better off taking the 50 kidzos they were given at the start and spending it on fun activities (after queuing for about an hour) because earning money is a waste of time because you can't afford anything anyway - hmmm, isn't that rather like teaching them they will have an easier life on benefits?!!!
6. That being ripped off for a lot of money leaves a very bad feeling
7. Never go to Kidzania again

So thanks of asking but the answer is no, 'Zuper' it was not.

Regards