Marc-Eric LaRocque

Review of Badshaw Family Services

This is mostly addressed to anyone who is consider...

This is mostly addressed to anyone who is considering becoming a "forever foster family", meaning becoming a foster family with children placed until age of majority.

We decided to become a forever foster family a little more than 5 years ago. Children were assigned to us before a court judgement was rendered (Batshaw can do things like this before a court makes a decision), but eventually, the children were officially placed in foster care, with us, until age of majority.

We were told at the outset that we would not be in control, compared to adopting outside the country, for example. We accepted that, but we did not appreciate the dimension this could take until it all turned into a nightmare, almost a year ago, based on what we feel and many agree was an honest mistake. As with many youth protection nightmares, they start with a "signalement" as was the case with us. The sequence of events after this is one that you should know about. As I said, we made a mistake, and we were honest and honed up to it. I will not repeat it here as it will not make a difference but many natural parents have done this and we did not think we were doing anything wrong at the time. We now know it is a mistake and we stopped immediately after the day of the signalement. But read on.

Everything depends on the opinion of the child's social worker. That opinion seems rarely challenged by others at Batshaw, but actions that follow sometimes make you wonder what exactly motivates them. A full 3 months after the signalement, we were summoned to be told that Batshaw decided to petition the court to remove the children "in emergency" in 2 days, and that once the children left, we would no longer be a foster family. We were floored.

They came to tell the children the same day they were going to be taken away and go somewhere else. The children cried for over 2 hours and of course were completely destabilized. The emergency proceeding happened 5 days later (a long time for the children to wait for the other shoe to drop) but thankfully the court threw out Batshaw's petition and allowed the children to remain with the foster family, us. The court also asked Batshaw to provide assistance to the foster family in the form of an educator. We thought we were close to concluding this episode.

The next day, following the court hearing, our foster home was closed, but the children were still with us!? Why would they do this? By the way, this means no more revenue (you get compensated for fostering children). It has been 7 months now that we pay out-of-pocket for their care, their clothes, gifts, travel and private school (yes, we put them in private school!!). We are also paying tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight Batshaw in court because our values will not allow us to give up on the children.

This is not over. We have two more court dates in 2019 and Batshaw is still bent on removing the children from us. It is a mistake, after all we have done and are still doing for the children, whom we now love as if our own. They are happy children, well adjusted, attached and loving. They do well in school, despite some issues they struggle with that have nothing to do with us (all foster children have some issues). After 5 years of living with us, it makes no sense to remove them, yet, someone at Batshaw has decided that this was the policy decision that was to be applied and coming back on this decision is not something they can do without losing face or admitting a mistake.

This may not happen to you, but know that you are not in control, the system is not perfect by any means, and it may turn against you. If you cannot stomach that risk, being a "forever foster family" is not for you. Think of it this way: the children will be better off with their existing baggage without you adding to it by abandoning them part way through. Children are resilient, but to heal and flourish they do need security, stability and love. Them being abandoned again in their lives shatters all three at once and creates permanent damage.

Thank you for reading.