If I could rate Flying Saucer Pizza Company a 0, I...

If I could rate Flying Saucer Pizza Company a 0, I would. I didn't think you could really mess up pizza *this* bad, but FSP took that task to challenge and WON. Let me preface this review by saying that after spending a whole day walking through Salem, my friends and I were HUNGRY. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill, average brand of hunger, either, it was the rampantly rabid kind that inspires your innards to chew out your stomach fat in hopes of satiating itself. The bar was set LOW, and FSP still managed to suck more than a hanging in the gallows. The pizza tasted like sugar and sauce-flavored water with a garnish of cheese. The doe was basically raw. Everything about this pizza was downright disgusting and as my friends and I sat and watched each other force feed ourselves for the sake of not starving, we all collectively ogled the resteraunt across the street and wished we waited the 30 min wait time. None of this would have been so bad if it weren't for how overpriced everything was, but true to its namesake, Flying Saucer Pizza was so bad it was truly out of this world, out of this galaxy, and out of this entire Universe. I would have rather burned my money and pretended I ate something enjoyable than actually have consumed the garbage this place tries to pass off as pizza, but I am stronger and wiser now and won't ever make the same mistake again. Afterward, my friends and I all ate a bag of pretzels in the car and agreed it tasted like a Michelin resteraunt compared to what we had just consumed. Only witchcraft is keeping this failure open.