This is the fifth time we've visited the JW Marrio...

This is the fifth time we've visited the JW Marriott around Christmas time. Last year, I got ill with something resembling food poisoning the afternoon after leaving, but dismissed it as something else. This year, after spending a day and a half at the hotel eating only at The Cottages restaurant for three meals, two of the four of us came down with violent food poisoning: uncontrollable nausea, skin rashes, and swollen tongues. When mentioned to the front desk, they told us to purchase medication from their convenience store - a small bottle of pepto bismol for $15.00.

The service at Cottages on the night of our arrival was SO slow - it took two hours for us to get through dinner, meanwhile, other tables got served nice and quickly. Our server eventually told us that they were "laughably understaffed" in the kitchen. Not my problem considering that diner quality meal cost $190 + tip for four.

While the hotel grounds were nice, there were definitely more activities that were 'fillers' than real ones. We were pretty excited about the 'bonfire' mentioned on the activities schedule and by several TA travelers, but were informed that the 'bonfire' was the pitiful looking pile of smoldering embers by the front entrance next to the dropoff driveway. You could buy a smores kit for $10, or beaver tails from a food stall outside for $7. No thanks.

Despite having paid more for a lakeview room, the balconies are in fact inaccessible, meaning that you will more or less be looking out onto white fencing of the balcony. The front desk staff told me that the balconies were 'not maintained'. Why don't you maintain them, then? You can trust your clients to pay $500 a night per room but not to properly use a balcony? OR is something not built properly here? We did notice an alarming number of icicles on all the resort buildings, which is good indication of poor insultation, despite the fact that the rooms were morbidly hot with no access to thermostats.

The spa was nice, but the treatments were so short and very pricey and somewhat unfriendly. Not sure I want to pay $150 for a weak, rushed massage from someone with cold hands again. We popped out to check out the outdoor hot tub but quickly left when we found a young couple having sex and drinking beer in it.

On our last night we dined at Teca,and our reservations were not honored. The food was very greasy and mediocre - in particular spaghetti san marzano tasted like oily undercooked pasta with spam meatballs. I did enjoy a perfectly made caesar from the lakes bar, however.

I think the family friendly aspect will work for some travelers, but for four adults it was kind of a nightmare to be on vacation with everybody else's screaming, crying, running children. Public spaces were more or less filled to the brim with grumpy Muskoka mummies with strollers trying to convince 3 year olds to go to the spa with them, and desperate dads trying to calm hyperactive toddlers down with babytalk. What a disaster.

We were super disappointed with our stay here, and while I don't think there was any one person or service to blame, we will no longer be spending our time and money at this establishment. I highly recommend you reconsider your trip as well.