Nah so straight up this place is rad. I booked for...

Nah so straight up this place is rad. I booked for a few nights, on check in I was handed a freshly minted US$100 dollar bill, proceeded through the lobby to find beautiful naked women begging to give me a massage. Or dudes, whatever's your thing.. There's an Olympic sized swimming pool complete with diving boards and sauna, free T-Rex rides all through Calgary, you can go on a float through their entirely private and enclosed lazy river.. Eat free from any of their hundreds of private dining facilities which are staffed and operated solely by Gordon Ramsay, who cooks at your table in the nude whilst swearing at you.
While maybe a lot of this may not be strictly speaking the "truth" it is a pretty sweet hostel. Clean rooms, big kitchen, back yard and roof top deck. If you're coming to Calgary and don't stay here in gonna find you and bad mouth you to all your mates behind your back. Then you'll be a loner living in a sub par hotel while all your friends are living it up at HI Calgary. Are you prepared to deal with that? I thought not.