I dined and stayed here on my honeymoon. It became...

I dined and stayed here on my honeymoon. It became the go-to anniversary spot for the unmatched quality of the food. This was, quite honestly and literally, the only time each year we go on a date (we have two mischievous babies who have frightened away most of the qualified specialists in toddler-wrangling). Despite that, the only way I'd consider eating there now, however is if they offered take out (they do not).

It's worth noting that I was a vegetarian for over a decade before pregnancy required otherwise, so I'm particularly sensitive when consuming meat. I was also sick the night of our anniversary. I decided to order a salad to ensure my freedom from anti-nausea medication. The only option for a salad is evidently not truly viable, but is synonymous with a swear word. My attempt to order it resulted in an offended look from the waiter, who responded in a clearly aggravated tone that, "The ... [cue a grimace and struggle to utter the next word] salad is small, and not a real meal." Never mind the fact I am extremely petite and eat in ratio to my size.

I calmly explained I did not want any meat, at which point the tension climbed to the point where my husband felt the need to intercede.

"She can eat the veggies from my entree." He offered politely. Wrong thing to say.

I'm genuinely surprised the waiter's face didn't turn red from the frustration so clearly heard in his tone. "Just so we're clear," he responded, "there is going to be an additional charge for that".

I wanted to argue that I used to be a waitress and therefore always tip more than twenty percent. I thought to negotiate the price of the alcohol we already ordered as sufficient* compensation for the $20 difference in exchange for his calming down and excusing my audacity to order what I felt like. But my husband knew what I was thinking. I could feel the sweat about to start beading on his forehead at the idea of this confrontation.

Screw it, I thought. It's our anniversary and we're already spending nearly $300 tonight anyway. Why embarrass my husband over a silly meal? I asked one last time if there were any vegetable entrees, to which the waiter parried with a non-answer insinuating there was not (truly, he ought to be a politician). And then I said the words I would regret for the next 48 hours. "I'll take the Ahi Tuna then..."

Suffice it to say, you know your own appetite better than a pretentious waiter. After paying so much, I felt obligated to try a few bites of the fish that had been the source of such controversy for our waiter. This did nothing for my state of illness and I realize now it was foolish to force myself to eat something I didn't want to. To be clear, I absolutely blame my pre-existing condition rather than the quality of the food. What I myself am not clear on is whether I blame myself more or the waiter who, after my requesting any non-meat option multiple times, failed to provide or even acknowledge the existence of the ever elusive "vegetarian menu". Note: Russell's does offer this option according to their website.

The next day before checking out I filled out the comment card providing as much detail of the situation as I could, but I suppose I'll never know what became of that. I do know however, that I could not eat there again after feeling so belittled. I don't recall what we tipped, but I hope my husband did so accurately and according to the service received.

One silver lining in this, is that as a mid-20 something couple crippled by daycare for two tiny humans and student loans greater than some people's mortgages, we will now be saving a few hundred a year come our anniversary. That by itself is something to celebrate.

*Truth be told, with a 6'2" husband who can eat his weight, the alcohol ordered far out-weighed the $20 difference we were haggled over. It's also interesting that that difference translates to a $4 contribution to a tip of 20%. On a bill as high as ours, the potential of missing that tip was marginal compared to how much the waiter actually missed due to his service.