Damien Mason

Review of Le Méridien Nouméa

The rooms and service at Le Meridien are lovely, 5...

The rooms and service at Le Meridien are lovely, 5 Stars for the rooms and service. The pool is nice albeit a couple of degrees too cold with the wind chill factor and the locals coming to use the pool facilities from outside the resort (They can enter via the beach).
But then there's the restaurants and bars... First night there we stopped for a snack in the Bar - a Croque monsieur? Yes I ordered that but out came a $15 Jaffle - I'm quoting all $ in AUD btw. A jaffle like you used to get at the public school tuckshop made by volunteer mums in the 80s with a thin piece of ham and a slice of kraft cheese in the middle, cut into two triangles by the tiffany jaffle maker.
And then there's 'Le Fare' out facing the water, the beachfront cafe (read: BBQ Grill) and bar that closes just before sunset. So if you didn't get your $27 club sandwich that's all soggy on the bottom made with tip top bread (like the jaffle), pretty average fish and chips, or watered down pina colada well before sunset - you'll be enjoying that view parched and hungry.
Le Meridien does redeem itself somewhat with the sushi restaurant (aging cafe, it's like they renovated the entire hotel and left this place in the 80s) - it's acceptable despite the ~$120 price tag for lunch.
All is not lost however - it's a couple of minutes walk next door to the Royal Chateau where the dinner and cocktails are great, 10 mins walk to Le Roof (excellent), or 20 mins walk to Anse Vata where there's a bunch of great restaurants.
I'll note that we did not dine at Le Sextant or La Hippocampe based on other's reviews and passing off a jaffle as a croque monsieur.
Le Meridien is a lovely place to stay and the staff and especially the manager and concierge(s) were wonderful and helpful (Thank you everyone) but they need to show the head chef the door - and quickly, this is the most expensive hotel and the food (with the exception of Sushi) was the worst we had on the island - including the time I was hungover and bought a slice of hot pizza from Carrefour supermarket, even that was better! 1 Star for the food, 5 stars for the rest of the hotel.

Guys let me know if you have fired your head chef since my visit. If not, I know lots of amazing ones that'll come work for you :)