Rex Gravis

Review of Uberex

An 'upscale' urban shopping experience densely pac...

An 'upscale' urban shopping experience densely packed in the very middle of San Francisco's downtown business district. Unlike many 'malls' in California, this one is entirely enclosed and artificially air conditioned, which gives it the feel of the suburban variety. If not an identical twin, it's definitely a kissing cousin.

However, the real distinction between your suburban shopping experience and this particular Westfield offering, is San Francisco itself. Specifically, the crowd is extraordinarily diverse, significantly older on average, and less likely to feature roving gangs of teenagers who operate according to fashion-brand coordination rather than simple colors.

Of course, you'll be encouraged to adopt said matching brands anyway, since the anchor stores featuring "PacFitchAberTradingGap" swimwear in winter with the overwhelming odor of what lust must now smell like to anyone between 12 and 17 lofting through the corridors give you little choice but to snatch and grab whatever makeshift clothing is available to cover your nose lest you melt in rekindled sexual angst.

Thankfully, or perhaps due to economic natural selection, the food court is located at the furthermost opposite end of this mall from the more commonly branded wee-wearers. The diverse crowd practically ensures a large and unusual collection of upscale, fast-food eateries, all quite well appointed with franchise logos and brightly lit displays with prices that make you 'rethink' the term fast-food.

And yet, for all this marketing.glitz, you might find yourself at a loss to recall where else you may have heard about or seen the Jello-molded-Coffee-Bean-Slider treat vendor called "BeanScreMein" before? At 22.50+Tax you might rather forget it, but at least you finally experienced what "parachuting" might have been like had you not have thought better of it at that concert which forced three of your friends to change careers in their mid-twenties.

If you absolutely need the nostalgia of your mid-west upbringing to rearm a few reclusive neurons, you might take a stroll through this good reproduction, but don't forget your American Excess card, because you might have to triple mortgage your home to afford it.