Christine McKelvey

Review of Five Star Fish

Don't go if you're in a rush... or particularly hu...

Don't go if you're in a rush... or particularly hungry. We should have realized after reading all the kitschy signs that say "you're on Cortez time" and "what's your hurry" that we were in for it. The kitchen is *impossibly* slow. Honestly, I could have gone back there and made the meals faster. We thought the chalkboard sign giving a wait time of 60 minutes was a cute joke. When they updated it to 90 minutes we realized - it was not. Actually, both ended up being wrong, our food took 1 hour and 45 minutes. The kicker? My husband and I SPLIT a "hearty" meal (their larger entree size option). The cash only rule and lack of receipt leaves you with little recourse than cutting your losses and leaving hungry. When it finally arrived, our food was (drum roll)... fine. Okay, it was better than fine, it was good. The problem is that after almost 2 hours good just isn't quite good enough. For some reason I was expecting to be blown away. That said, I don't know what all of the hype is about for this place. Maybe they're hoping that by the time you get your food you're so hungry that just about anything would taste amazing. I kept thinking that we could have driven down to Phillippi Creek Oyster Bar, had a similar meal with a similar view, had the option of sitting in A/C and paying with a credit card and still had time to spare. I guess now I can say I've been there, but I won't be back.