Sad to say, but UCH makes the VA look like Nirvana...

Sad to say, but UCH makes the VA look like Nirvana by comparison.
Need to talk to your doc? It won't happen; no one will patch you through.
Need to talk to a nurse? Sorry, your call will get patched through to a call center, and you don't get to talk to a nurse.
Frustrated that after weeks of calling no one will get back to you? Want to leave a message for the patient advocate? Sorry, they won't answer the phone (ever) but their message machine says they'll get back to you "in three business days" translated means "when we get damn good and ready, but don't hold your breath."

Then the patient advocate message says "if you need assistance call the front desk and they will help you." So, you follow their instructions but the front desk phone folks say "sorry, we can't transfer you to administration or to a doctor, all we can do is transfer you to the call center."

Then, lets talk about actually seeing a provider. After you call for weeks and weeks, the call center will transfer you down some other rabbit hole, and you can get an appointment in, say, about two months. If you can't make that appointment, you might as well resolve to the fact that you will die of old age long before you get to see a provider.

Then, in the breathtaking possibility that you get to see a provider and you've waited the requisite number of months to get in, the doc will order "tests." (read: pathology). The turnover in the pathology department is so bad that when they run test that Best Practices say you should have results on in less than 72 hours, UCHealth misread that, and you will get your tests, maybe, as soon as 72 days. You will probably have died from your disease by then.

If you do actually get to a human being (only in the call center, forget about anywhere else) do not expect human kindness. If you're feeling bad, or frustrated, or you're really sick, you will NEVER hear them say "please" "thank you" or "I'm sorry you're going through this." The few people actually allowed to talk on the phone there apparently have been instructed to be as curt as possible to reduce the desire of patients to ever call back.

In short - if you are required to go through UCHealth for any reason, make sure your will is up to date and that you have written instructions for your family and loved ones about what you want them to do in the event of your death, since you will probably die many months before you get hold of a human being at UCH.

Good luck.