Jeremy Thompson

Review of Apple Athletic Club

If you are looking for a gym with EXTREMELY EXPENS...

If you are looking for a gym with EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE MEMBERSHIPS, AUTOMATED RENEWELS (that are in the finest of print), LINES FOR WORKOUT EQUIPMENT that pale in comparison to the Tiger Ear line at the county fair, and EXTREMELY RUDE CUSTOMER SERVICE, then this is the place for you!!!

Not only will you have a chance to meet many sweaty, annoyed people while waiting for an eternity to use most all gym equipment that happens to be in working order, you get the privilege of paying top dollar to do so. As an added bonus, females will be able to enjoy the endless ogling of the many, many meatheads trolling around the gym equipment at all times looking for love in all the wrong places.

Are your eyeballs cold? No problem here as the pool chlorine/PH levels will cause burning comparable to icy hot in your urine tract!

Oh, and the workout classes. Years ago enjoyable, are now filled with disgruntled sweat mongers boycotting air conditioning. Seriously, these rooms are hotter and sweatier than a mammoth in a sauna!! You can practically see the stench wave moving across the room when class begins like a tsunami in Fukushima.

If you are lacking self confidence, the employees have well more than enough to go around! These people act like stud horses on high doses of testosterone!!! The Russian women s wrestling team has nothing on these folks. If you could harness the energy that most of the employees put into being rude, it could solve our nations energy crisis!!

The best part is when you move away and call to cancel your membership, they treat customers of 10 years or more like a steaming pile of fecal matter trying to rob the MGM Casino.

Why join a gym that will just let you leave anytime for a fraction of the price when you can join The Apple Mafia ? When you join this gym, you are in for life!! One way in, One way out! This place truly is your gym for life, whether you like it or not. They neglect to mention the AUTOMATIC YEARLY RENEWALS that are allegedly stated in fine print comparable to that of a subatomic particle.