Denis Bessette

Review of Paradise Cove Luau

First and LAST Hawaiian luau, ever! Typical touris...

First and LAST Hawaiian luau, ever! Typical tourist trap. Dozens of busloads of people (maybe 500-600) herded back and forth like cattle to the sound of a conch. Repeatedly told that each event would be performed, "one time and one time only". Meaningless games (Hawaiian bowling, never explained). We timed the 'tattoo' artist, he spent one minute and 35 seconds drawing a flower on a little girl's arm. There were about 50 people in his line... you do the math!
Everyone is encouraged to drink a lot and buy stuff at their shops. Souvenir drink glasses add $9 to the cost of a drink. Food is okay, but nothing special. Most of the food can be purchased at any grocery store, shredded pork, macaroni salad, rolls, ranch dressing, etc. I ate one plate of food when the buffet was cleared.
Visitors are supposed to be 'cousins' and love one another, but bus guides encourage stupid put-downs of other tour groups and competing luau operators.
Bus guide spent entire drive time trying to get people psyched about excessive drinking. Shared very little about Hawaiian culture, focusing instead on leading chants of "Oh yeah!" or "Whoop, whoop!".
The dancers and fire twirling were the only redeeming quality of this trip, but not redeeming enough to say that it's worth the expense. Of everything we did in Hawaii during our 9-day stay, this was the bottom of the barrel. There are lots of better things to do in Hawaii than this.