Joel Rasmussen

Review of BYU Testing Center

'Twas the last night of finals, and all through th...

'Twas the last night of finals, and all through the room,
#2 pencils a scribblin', and faces of gloom,
The business school students all dressed to the 9's,
While 'lawyers futurae' answered questions on crimes.

Football players were gone, and had long since been treated,
To A's and B+'s, they desperately needed,
The mathletes were sleeping, two hours deep,
In Euler and Euclid, and math much too steep.

But in yonder corner, what could be found?
A sleep deprived creature, you seldom see round,
His belt nonexistent, body odor to spare,
The smell of hot pockets wafts from his hair.

That lone engineer, with textbook wide open,
Searching the pages for something to hope in,
"'Tis futile," he thought, "I'll just never make it"
On a four question, open-book test you can't fake it!

Don't let that fool you, for short it was not,
Each of those questions - 90 minutes a pop.
"Show your work, Do your Best," professors encouraged,
But hour after hour, the geek got discouraged.

'Til a glimmer of hope shone at 9:45,
He hunkered on down, his pencil alive,
The music was playing, he could finally feel,
A fast nearing end to the drawn out ordeal.

He packed all his stuff in his wheeled Marvel backpack,
And opened a Snickers, the one perfect test snack,
Looked down at his paper, Greek symbols galore,
"I'm hoping for 50%, maybe more...."

He turned in his test, and mumbled a plea:
"C get degrees, that's good enough for me!"
Come take a test here, if you have the nerve,
Do your worst, break a leg, and pray for a CURVE!