Once upon a time, in a city not far away, we decid...

Once upon a time, in a city not far away, we decided to visit the infamous, nay, notorious Tower of London. It was a bright, sunny, summers day in London without a cloud in sight already something was amiss. Upon approaching the Tower there appeared to be a festival of sorts in the moat. "My good sir, what goes here" I inquired of the local steward. "A feast, a feast of epic proportions. Exotic cuisines and delicacies, presented to delight your palate and inspire your senses" he replied. Ah, the Food Festival is back in town I thought.

Upon entering the Tower grounds we suddenly found ourselves under attack by a winged, fire-breathing beast of a dragon! My initial fears subsided as I remembered we were in a fortress and I began to wonder which of the infamous Dragon Slayers, Christian Bale or Sean Connery, would be first on the scene. When neither Dragon Slayer appeared, and it became apparent we weren't going to become dinner we continued on with an inspection of the battlements I was keen to find the polar bear and elephant and lions I had heard so much about (a polar bear swimming in the Thames! Amazing!).

HALT, WHO GOES THERE? A deep voice boomed (I'm sure it would have caused the window panes to vibrate if there had been any). Turning around, I was amazed to see none other than King Hamster the VIII and his faithful squire. "Only us Sire, come for a visit". We were quickly ushered into the next room where we were amazed to find the Royal Crowns we wanted to try some on, but the hamster guards didn't look like they approved of the idea so instead we asked them if they'd show us around the rest of the site.

First they took us to the barracks, and then into the courtyard where they bravely defended us from Pumpkin Head, the most mischievous, devious and dangerous Imp in all the land. Next they took us past the Ravenous Ravens and into the armoury. The armoury was great fun they posed for photos under another dragon they had captured years ago (it was so old it had turned into metal), they let us play with kegs of gunpowder and load the canons and blow up the neighbouring castles.



By this time, it was getting quite late in the day, and I knew of a fair maiden who would be waiting patiently at home for us ready to hear all about our adventures, so off we headed. We didn't find a Princess, or see a polar bear swimming in the Thames, we weren't rescued by Christian Bale or Sean Connery, but we kept our heads, saw some dragons and had a delightfully brilliant time I highly recommend it.